Evil Co-sleeping and why I do it!

I am one of those dreaded co-sleepers you hear about. 
I'm not a hippy,  new aged, or "Crunchy" Mommy, I'm a Mom that finds something that works and does it. I'll try most anything and as long as it works and sits right with me, I'll do it.
You really do act differently with each child and the difference between Carebear and B-Man are HUGE! I was terrified about everything with Carebear! I think back now to how paranoid I was with her and laugh. I was a new Mom, with zero experience and a TON of advice from EVERYONE who thought they should give it! I had so many mixed messages, so much contradicting information that I never knew what to really think. 

For each study that said you shouldn't there were an equal amount that said you should. 

I learned quickly that what you SHOULD do is what works for you!
One of those areas was sleep!!
Carebear (like a lot of babies) was a terrible sleeper. She would wake up every 30 to 40 minutes each night, and we were exhausted! I had no idea what to do, or how to do it. I read lots of books, and listened to advice but nothing seemed to work.
One thing that did was co-sleeping. I would put Carebear on the bed with me and Mr. Rooster would sleep in the spare room. This also worked so that Mr. Rooster could actually get some sleep for work the next day. 
We did this for a long time and although it didn't stop her from waking every few hours, it did help me get some sleep because I didn't have to get up , walk across the room, get her back to sleep and then go back to bed. I could just settle her and then pass back out.
We got a lot of grief from family about this arrangement so we just kept it to ourselves most of the time. But it worked. We got sleep at night and that was the most important thing. 
We were told that if we co-slept that Carebear would NEVER be able to sleep in her own room or bed!
Well, in the end, Carebear from the age of 13 months has slept happily in her own room, in her own bed! We take her up, get her dressed, do her bedtime routine, put her in bed, say good night, close the door and she'll play in her room till she falls asleep, no fuss, and it takes us less than 10 minutes each night (longer on bath nights).
It's simple and easy. Nap time is the same way, no fuss!
So, I guess that co-sleeping wasn't as EVIL as we were told it was, and the end result is what most parents dream of - easy bedtime!


With B-Man I felt the pressure again not to co-sleep and so he was put into his crib from day one! I didn't mind so much but again, just like his sister he is a terrible sleeper, and was up even more often. :(
We tried a bunch of different things but the past week the only sleep relief I get is to co-sleep with him.
Not what I had planned but you do what works.
I try to be as safe as possible, and I am such a light sleeper that even the smallest noise or movement wakes me up. He sleeps far from me, spread out on the bed with no pillows or blankets near him. He does spend the first half of the night in his crib but the second half seems to be rough on him so he's up a lot and comes to bed with me.


I'm not sure if he'll continue to co-sleep, but if he does, I don't mind. The most important part for me is getting sleep, precious, precious sleep!


I try not to listen to peoples "advice" now. We each do what we think is best for our little ones. We all have different ways of doing things, but we all do what works for us!

I am a Worry Warrior!

I combat decision making with great ease and skill! There is no problem that I can't analyse to death! When faced with an issue I will use my shield of worry to hide myself from change! I proudly wield my sword of doubt and attack every good idea with skepticism and apprehension!

I come from a long line of Worry Warriors! Our tribe teaches each generation how to be full of anxiety and lack confidence!

Yes, I am a Worry Warrior!

I have always been a worrier! I can't think of a time in my life when I wasn't concerned with what people thought of me, what people were doing, if everyone was ok, if someone was mad at me, or if I've done something wrong.

It's been an endless cycle for me, and has led me to a place in my life where I am almost unmovable. :(
I am so worried about every thing that I don't do anything!

I've been trying to work on this the past few days (well years really) but the past few days have been a big focus for me.
Starting this blog has been super hard, since I'm honestly worried about grammar mistakes (I'm terrible with grammar and with spelling), worried about the content not being good or interesting, worried what people might say when they read this, worried that I might say the wrong thing.
There have been so many postings that I have deleted or haven't posted because I'm so worried what others might think.

The problem with worrying is that it's an exceptionally hard habit to break. How to do you turn off something that you've been trained to do and have done your whole life?

I have heard it a million times, "stop worrying so much.", "Just try not thinking about it". If only that worked. If only not thinking would work, but I have been cursed with a brain that NEVER sleeps! It's always on and always going. I have an extremely hard time relaxing and if it weren't for television I would never simmer at all. (TV is the only time I just zone out).
My brain is always a buzz with nonsense. Things that don't really matter. Going over conversations I've had, and planning conversations I might have.
I am a terrible sleeper. My brain doesn't shut off, so I'll lie in bed awake at night, even if I'm exhausted, and just think and plan, and think, and analyse, and plan and think...it goes on and on.
My brain ruins beautiful moments too :( with its constant stream of things to worry about or scenario that "may" occur!
If only there were some way to put all this wasted energy to good use.

Even now, before I actually hit the bright orange "publish" button, I'm full of doubt and fear.

I've been wanting to post this blog on Facebook, but have been so worried who might read it, what they'll think of it, and what they'll think of me.

I'm not sure if I'm ready for all of that, for I am a Worry Warrior and probably always will be!